Looking back at my twenties sends a whole host of emotions pumping through my ventricles. There were joyous times of celebration and release, paired with a perfect combination of dysfunction and despair. The idyllic recipe for one hell of a cocktail; many of which I indulged.

Oh, how I am grateful for surviving my 20’s! Today I have a real sense of who I am; I know what I want and I have gained enough confidence to portray that to the world. 20’s you were fun, but 30’s, I’m here, I’m saddled up & I’m enjoying the ride!

10 invaluable life lessons I learned from my 20’s

1. You are constantly changing in your 20’s. Not only physically, but mentally and possibly spiritually. Your friends, lovers, hobbies and goals may change too and that is okay. Go along for the journey!

2. The world does not revolve around you. Wait, what? I thought it did. No, really, it doesn’t. There are other people on Earth and guess what? They have their own agendas, feelings and some of them may even count on you to be there for them when it’s not convenient for you.

3. If you don’t like to binge drink, don’t. But binge drinking is what you do in your 20’s, right? Nothing good ever resulted from binge drinking and nothing good ever will. Today I don’t feel I have to binge drink to hang out with my friends, even if that’s what they like to do. What a relief.

4. Being reactive gets you nowhere. Whether at work or in your personal life, nobody likes a loose cannon. Take a step back, suck up a few deep breaths and know you have a choice in how you react to a person or situation. If you don’t do this you may come across as unstable, unprofessional and unattractive. Who wants to be any of those?

5. You are not defined by your looks. Ladies, I’m talking to you. Have you always wanted to be the prettiest girl in the room? It gives you some sort of unspoken power, right? I used to think that way, but in my late 20’s that all changed. I realized I had a lot of other unique talents that made me, me. As it turns out, I am a pretty cool chick that is responsible, loving, kind and am valued in so many other ways than simply how I look.

6. Going out with your girlfriends doesn’t have to equate to chasing men. In my 20’s we would go out at night with the sole purpose of meeting the cutest boy in the room; when we could have been spending that time getting to know one another on a deeper level. It’s sad looking back at all the precious moments we wasted scoping, scouting and eye-lusting our way through the weekend. Plus, the walk of shame really does suck.

7. Your parents don’t always know best. Mom, Dad, Stepmom, don’t kill me for saying this, but I don’t agree with everything you believe in and guess what? I don’t have to! We are all human and each of us has our own experiences, values and beliefs and I am okay that mine differ from yours. It makes me who I am.

8. It’s okay to ask for help. There were so many times when I was too scared to ask for help because I thought it made me look stupid, weak or slow. In my 20’s I learned that if you don’t ask for help you might drown. People don’t expect you to know everything, nor do you have to accomplish everything on your own. When you need help or have a question, just ask, whether in your personal or professional life. It gets easier the more you do it.

9. Everyone isn’t out to get you. Ever feel like the world is against you? Aside from this naturally occurring that time of the month, there were so many instances when things just weren’t going my way and I felt like a victim to the Universe. When you get into the mode of victimizing yourself, nothing is going to work out in your favor and nobody is going to want to be around you. Snap out of it and change your situation. Leave it, if need be.

10. Don’t discount the elderly. Ageism is alive and kicking in the world my friends; and it is unfortunate. I’ve spent a lot of time with people from my grandparent’s era and they have a lot of wisdom and their own unique story to tell. They were once our age and we will be theirs someday. So the next time you have the opportunity to spend time with the elderly, ask them a few questions about their lives; you may learn an invaluable life lesson or two.